BREADWINNERS VS BREAD SCAVENGERS

"Remember the Golden rule that whoever has the gold makes the rule" -Anonymous.

(By Oyero Joshua)

With the broad vision offered by motivational lenses, particularly those by inspirational educators whose works adorn the shelves of today's bookshop, one could not but be thrown into the wide space of indecision especially when it comes to selecting an all-encompassing definition for 'Success'.

It's in the light of the above reason that I have chosen not to adopt any scholarly postulated definition of Success herein, but to use something simplistic: a product of my reasoning.

Success in its crude form is 'the ability to go from one failure to another without loss or diminishing enthusiasm'.

 

Now, let's get going:

However, it's of no need to note as it's a known fact to say that no matter how immerse a family is in the unlucky water of squalor, there will constantly be a person amongst such family who will be head-and-shoulder above his fellow kith and kins.

In the acceptability of the above definition, one could objectively conclude that it's justifiable, though Africa as a spectacle to emphasize the inevitable presence of a 'BREAD-WINNER' in all human family of the world. However necessary as the backdrop of the issue at hand is a germane question, which is: 'Who is a Bread-winner?'.

 

A Bread-winner by all distinction is the most financially-distinctive member of any human family. He/She can be said to have a considerable degree of material wealth and financial independence. In absolute truth, dependants depend on him. He/She is a family cornerstone per excellence!

Now, talking with all correctness, I do not think any sane youth would not want to be the Bread-winner of his/her family (minding the allure of glamour and prestige that accompany this magnificent position). Likewise do I not think anyone who yearns for such desire should hesitate taking the bull by the horn.

It would interest you my dear reader to know that there's no dream that is attainable on the platter of no obstacle and disappointments. Of note is that disappointments takes precedence before ground-shaking appointments. The inevitable nature of setbacks, failure and shortcomings demands a Success-minded fellow to firstly appease disappointments which can be liken to an unwilling secretary in order to gain access to the willing Boss-Appointments

Deterring hinderance(s) no doubt will pop-up; fierce enmity would rise up and the mist of frustration will cake your efforts and if allowed, will successfully ruin it.

Obviously, the road to fulfillment, feat, leap and accomplishment is long, narrow, meander and dreary. Thus, trekking on danger shouldn't be a stranger to one.

The need to wear the cloth of belief of insistent determination is highly essential to the realization of goals. Also, is the need to resolve not to relent until the point of victory is important.

Never you go weary in the face of complexity(ies). The conviction to forge ahead must be strong, recurrent, resolute, ardent and unbending.

 

As you work on being the Bread-winner of your household(and by extension your locality), I leave you to see prosperity in adversity and not otherwise.

Remember: PERSISTENCE IS THE ONLY RESISTANCE TO FAILURE!

...kip da Optimism Alive

AT THE END OF THE ROPE? WITH HOPE, YOU CAN COPE!

By Joshua Oyero

"Don't let your present plight becloud your sight of envisioning an attainable height." -O.J.O

Many a times in life when our shortcomings tend to foreclose the possibility of probable forth-comings, with hope, we can cope!

Life at this moment may brings nothing but bitterness. Bitterness and unfairness might be all we feel. Thus, we become so overwhelmed by the enormity and magnanimity of relative circumstantial difficulties. But with hope, we can cope!

These are turbulent times when concerted efforts at work are greeted with dissappointments that result from promotional delay; The failure of not being able to afford basic material wants may also ejects us from our most-cherished social circle. Thus, dejection is all is left as a result of accumulated frustration. But with hope, you can cope!

These are pathetic times when friends and family members shift down-rightly their attention from us. We are thus tossed by the blizzard ripples of life. But with hope, you can cope!

Undoubtedly, during these times, a slew of negative thoughts often invades d mind of even d most-rigid Optimists, nt to talk of habitually pessimistic folks.  At these inevitable trying moments, the possibility of attaining our long-nursed goals and aspiration may face doubt and dwindling uncertainties and to obtain our greatest desire might seems hinged on impossibility. But with hope, we can cope!

In the bloom of these unpalatable days when gloom contests to have dominion over our countenance, & sometimes do if we are unwary, the mind might be conscripted to negativity if positive self-dialogue doesn't take place.

To drift a bit,  the end of the rope for few some is when the preservation of their virginity faces severe criticism from even the best-intentioned Suitors. Consequently, shifting to the pervasive audacity of abnormality that permeates d environment seems the way out to getting a husband. But, with hope, you can cope!

Are you a single tired of the many well-articulated admonishments, say the sanctity of virginity? This is the end of your rope. But with hope, you can cope!

Cuddling the beautiful thought of how appreciative your husband will be on the night of your wedding when he hatches the discovery that you're completely untouched: your hymen intact. And caressing the marvelous thought of him telling your girl children in the yet to come future that their mom was a virgin isn't a bad idea of how to cope.

To be over-pious is to say that teenage years is not one laced with consuming sexual crave. Psychologists over the years reckon that the dawn of the twenties is one of heighten crave for sexual encounter. Thus, male youths r often intoxicated with the desire to express their masculinity and their counterpart romance the crave to let loose their virginity. All in the name of strong internally surging emotional pressures and the 'dire desire to venture into a prevalent but yet, dishonorable adventures'.

If genuine celibate catholic Priests really still exist, then you can withstand pre-marital abstinence.

 

...Kip da Optimism Alive

FG. FORGIVE, BUT DON'T GIVE

(No bazaar for the bizarre)

By Oyero Joshua

"With malice towards none; with compassion for all; with firmness in the right, as God gives us to see right, let us strive on to finish the zero tolerance fight against terrorism; to bind up the nation's wounds....to do all which we may to achieve and nurture a just and lasting peace among ourselves." -O.J.O

 

To start with, to fear saying the truth is grossly unfair. Having tried loads of efforts and consultation to numerous dictionaries in the search of the true and real meaning of the seven letter word: 'amnesty', it's dissapointing that the product of my research reveals nothing as to say that amnesty goes with pecuniary grants. It's clearly stated in six dictionaries of repute that it's needless to pay money or any material gratification to pardoned terrorists.

 

The objectives of Amnesty is for Rebels, Incorrigible criminals and Terrorists to give up their heinous ways having laid down their weaponry. Thus, peacefully re-join the society without persecution, purnishment, societal scorn and betterstill, monetary placation.

 

But, be it as it may, it's worthy to tender that the Nigerian nomenclature of amnesty completely deviates the universal standards of the concept (perhaps, she's exhibiting some kind of exclusivity, Who knows?).

 

To be prejudiced is to assume the posture that a sane government ought to be benevolent to malevolent men who mercilessly slashed the throats of countless of its patriots?

 

With a considerable purity of honesty, the proposed 'monetary amnesty' for Boko-haram members is an atrocity. To think that generosity must be extended to her past executed inhumanity to humanity is a world-class insanity. The federal government should only forgive and not give!

 

Let her see to the most fundamental issue which is UNEMPLOYMENT and she'll be doing the nefarious clandestine fellows a life-long good. This is because an incisive and an unbias lense will see clearly that idleness, hunger, aggravated anger, frustration etc (children of Unemployment) is the cardinal reason for the emergence of these group of devourers and destroyers.

 

To endly put before I pause my audacious ink, MONETARY-ORIENTED AMNESTY is no amnesty and must consequently be scorned. This is regardless of the intention for considering such measure.

 

Such move as to milk out national honey to marauders who also double as masquerades is Satanic and absurd to FG' superiority over internal and external threats ! Lest she compensates and another hungry and greedy army of wolves mounts up in the close future as Successors.

...In the spirit of verity to the polity

...Kip da Optimism Alive

THE "WHERE ARE YOU" WORLD

"WHERE ARE YOU?"

(A question of care or an expression of suspicion?)

 

By Oyero Joshua

With pleasant but firm voice of authority adorned with possession similar to the voice's pitch of the Creator, one that His majesty had ranged out to Adam and Eve when the duo flouted His supreme order, He habitually asks her: "Where are you?". This, he frequently inquire with no insinuation of infidelity each time he's on phone with her.

 

 

Victor is a well-built man with the physique of a robort (a result of daily gymnasium). He's a professional pall-bearer: a paid-carrier of corpse. A man of the 'albino fraternity'. Happily married to an ambitious lady named Victoria in a union of a decade thereabout. Victor often unknowing to himself cyber-monitors his wife's movement by choking her with calls and obligatory chats.

 

 

On her part, Victoria is a mild-mannered mother of two with the elegance and fragrance of a 'fallen angel'. She is a career-oriented fellow who to her ability combines the quest of attaining professional growth and excellence with homely responsibilities. She is a bank worker. The nature of her job is time exhausting as she occupies the post of a cash officer in one of the millenium banks. As a cash officer, she' saddled with the onus of endorsing the total amount of daily transactions of her financial district. Her job routine is one that compels her to keep late at the office. This is because it's mandatory for her to wait till the cashiers forward in their data in order to do the compilation.

 

 

Victor, often less occupied during week days due to the nature of his vocation as funerals are mostly done on the tail part of the week douses his wife with calls and excessive chats (perhaps, because he's often lonely and idle during week days?).

 

 

At this juncture, it's pertinent to make a point crystal-clear, which is that Victor asks after his wife's where-about bearing the good intention of care and concern not jealousy. but be it as it may, such inquisition is a delicate one because it also expresses suspicion as to infer that he doesn't trust her.

 

 

On a most serious note, I've lost count of number of times I've heard people croon out 'where are you?', obviously to their loved ones. I'm not really captivated with the fact that Lovebirds considering the love knot that binds them often as a matter of anxious desire to know where their partners are at any and every time of the day (when they aint together). But, what holds my fancy is the controversial perception of the 3-word phrase.

 

 

To some, 'Where are you dearie?' is a world class offensive question often taken as an expression of distrust from their spouse. While to some, it's a profession of acceptance and concern amongst many other numerous divergent perceptions.

 

 

Still in the social consciousness of trends unfolding in my environment......................

 

...Kip da Optimism Alive

THE BLINDNESS OF BITTERNESS!

"The wages of rage is damage; sages appreciate the preventive benefit of caging rage." -O.J.O 

‘Kayode Oyero      

                        

Uncle moon was out in its full glow. It was the mid-month’s moon. The crescent fully developed; well-formed. The effulgence of the moon was not only a reminiscence of Africa's traditional tales at moonlight settings, but also one that perfectly awakens deep sensational feeling in  sexually disinterested aged couples, lifting their frigidity to a youthful romantic mood.

First class tranquility spiced the evening. Her noisy kids gone on a nocturnal safari to dreamland. A night of full co-operation of nature! 

At about eleven in the evening, Ibinu sat quietly at the threshold of her home. A home-maker and a proud mother of three wonderful kids. On a slight introspective examination of her face, vilid lines of rage etched itself on it. Her Banker husband is yet to be back in the house and his line unreachable since the noon of that day.

"Pin-pin-pin.............." a familiar screech pierced her aimless silly wandering: likely thoughts of her hubby’s infidelity.

With inharmonious contours on her face like a stretch-mark, she vehemently approached the gate. Lo! and behold! she saw in company of him, a woman whose beauty, aesthetically superior to hers. The illumination of a nearby street light shone luxuriantly on her like an agate, painting 'the strange woman' faintly blue.

Without any inquisition as to know the type of association that exists between them, she swiftly pounced on the 'strange woman'. And before he could waylay her and forestall an impending brawl, she landed on the tummy of the "strange woman" a phenomenal ground-shaking blow. 

And like a community sewage outlet opened monthly for evacuation into a deserted river, thick pint of blood marred the leg of the 'strange woman'; Ibinu’s hubby co-worker. She let out excruciating groans. She had just lost her first pregnancy in fourteen years to Ibinu’s un-comported anger. The traffic impasse that had caused her husband to arrive home late that night was the same reason why she, -the strange woman and her hubby,-  had unanimously resorted that she passes the night with Ibinu’s household. Her abode some ten kilometers away.

****

Anger is no doubt a stone's throw from madness. In fact, it can best be describe as an immature state of lunacy. Anger repair nothing, but mete repair on things. Exasperation, an invicinble destroyer.

Though, the seed of anger is supposedly one implanted in all mankind at the genesis of time. The notion that some folks don't get infuriated is a fallacy of all time. The difference between a spleen being and an imperturbable human is that the former has failed in the co-ordination of his/her fury, allowing the seed of anger to germinate in his/her system by overtly reacting anytime the cloth of anger garments his/her person while the latter is said not to get angry because such an individual has masterful control over his/her rage. The ability to control and consequently conceal fury when at the hood of its possession makes the difference. Unbridled annoyance brings nothing but calamity and irrevocable loss.

Call it anger, wrath, rage, fury, provocation, frustration, aggression, hot-temperament or annoyance. they are brothers in the world of synonyms.

God help us all as we liberate ourselves from the shackles of this curse by suppressing it whenever it comes calling.

I’m @Imodoye_1 on Twitter

                                                                                                      

...Kip Da Optimism Alive.

THE LINE BETWEEN VICTIMS AND VICTORS

(By Joshua Oyero)

"It's no rumour that humour is the best armour against life's tumour." -O.J.O

Gone were the days when I had an attitudinal back-slide as a result of career diversification, academic setbacks, monetary disappointments, emotional hurts and fatalistic shortcomings.

Before furtherance, I can not but accord credence to the many reformative prudence I gleaned from the vast read of motivational literature written by notable Life coaches from sundry climes. Their orientation clues no doubt made me go into a rehab immediately I realized I didn't like what I was becoming.

In case you're wondering in oblivion of what I meant up there, let me be quick as a matter of clarity to vividly paint those yesteryears's destructive attitude of mine with the artistic skillfulness of an adept Graphics artist.

Here we go: As a natural descendant of the melancholy temperament, I had always cuddle the belief that depression was my best friend. This belief was one that mounts to the hood anytime the stormy tides of failure roar against me. Thus, I go about wearing a repelling powder on my face, a shirt and pair of trousers of cold disposition and with a no-smile face-cap to match.

Though, it's of no point to note that the afore-described outfit is that of sadness and pessimism that thus communicated to people the little affliction that life has inflicted on me.

Alas! social isolation later set-in. I halt interlocking intimacy with everyone, not even my siblings or peers. I was completely withdrawn from sociological process.Then, not long afterwards, my contemporaries nick-named me "Mr Loner". An identity that could have submerged my real name if not for the timely and conscious self-awareness that saw my taking solace in the fetching of inspirational waters from the well of constructive materials.

In all fairness and sincerity, I must submit that GLOOM IS THE SHORTEST ROUTE TO DOOM.

A smiling face is no doubt a combative attitude against life's mishap. Being Joyfully happy even in the face of seemingly helpless situations is an arsenal used by Optimists to conquer difficulties. Don't be overwhelmed by the enormity of life challenges. You can't be bitter and be better!

Researchers have shown that the simple act of smiling causes your brain to release a stream of chemicals that makes you feel good. Joy is the most important medication so affordable by the wretched of the wretched. Have you read Dr. Raymond Moody's HEALING THROUGH HUMOUR? You can't afford to miss the read of this evergreen book. It's amazingly fantastic!

According to Dr. Warren Fry of the University of Chicago, laughter produces endorphin-like effects relieving traumatic pains in our bodies. It might interest you to know that Endorphins are body's natural painkillers.

What happens to you does not have to live with you!

Optimists don't go dismay when life hits them hard. They see setbacks as a temporary interruption and not a total disruption.The line between VICTIMS and VICTORS is that the former are pessimistic in nature while the latter are habitually Optimistic.

KEEP SMILING IT OFF!

... Kip Da Optimism Alive

IN ORDER TO ARISE, YOU HAVE TO RISE-UP

IN ORDER TO ARISE, YOU HAVE TO RISE-UP

 I have lost count of the number of times I’ve heard the phrase: “arise and shine” often prophetically declared in worship centers. We all know how resonating our men of God echo this declaration. The manner of its articulation gets more intensity in the mouth of pastors who can be described as ‘choristers of prosperity’.

I harbor no reservation whatsoever against goodwill ministers that sow this life changing phrase into the financial deserts of impoverished members. Whether they are genuine or not is not to be adjudge by me. But, the unbiased truth of the matter is that those in the congregation, I mean members at the receiving end of the prayer who thirst-fully shout amen to make known their conformity with what has been uttered also unwittingly hinder themselves from rising.

I know it’s needless to recall the truism that African societies particularly the Nigerian context is one that glorifies the miracle mentality than the striving philosophy. Nigerians are legendary at envisaging wonders. But, tell me how a ladder can be climbed without the collaboration of the both hinds and limbs?

It’s ironic that while sincere and unaltruistic religious mantle-holders are bountiful in assisting its members with fervent prayers to speed up their development in every of their life-endeavour, members themselves blockade the coming to pass of such prophesies by folding their arms (not making necessary movements in the direction of their lofty expectation).

For anyone to go higher professionally, to be lavishly buoyant

imperative to get up from our open-eyed slumber.

In sum, I’m humble to disclose the bitter truth, which is “Until we move, nothing may move in the direction of our desire because even the two most prevalent sacred scriptures of Christianity and Islam advocate making initiatives”.

WHEN LOVE IS NOT RECIPROCAL

"Love ought to be a mutual commitment of two and not an investment by one." -O.J.O

Gloom and unhappiness covered her face the way bed-sheet masks naked mattrass. She sat lonely and quietly on a stool placed at the threshold of her family's flat. She was utterly drown in thoughts to the extent that she was oblivion of my presence not even when my phone's busty ringtone defiled the tranquility naturally known with government residential areas (G.R.A).

Her eyeball was completely glued to the blue roof of the sky as I stood in sheer wonderment of her pathetic condition.

"What could be the matter with her? What could warrant her to resume a dejected posture this evening? What could make a charming and decent Lady of her calibre and timber maroon herself in the forest of sadness?" all these and many more presumptous thoughts occupied my mind for a while before I resolved to inquire. This is because Angela and I aren't only mere friends from childhood, but also attends the same University.

On my resolution to interrupt her wandering, I tapped her pensive shoulder. Immediately, she was stunned I did the tap. "Josh, you startled me" she said in a tone pregnant with relief.

On probing what the matter was, she bursted in wails. She told me how the One she loves never gave a damn for her feelings; how her 'two years' effort of trying to get him in a sensational mood had been unproductive; how she calls and texts him every now and then and how she had been consistently persistent at doing the pestering.

As she narrates her sad tale in a melancholic manner, I figured she's a casualty of 'EMOTIONAL ENTRAPMENT'.

"Angela, you need not to hoax a man to cherish you. Anyone that is not cracy about you before marriage would make you go cracy after marriage." I bluntly declared.

Emotional entrapment can be said to be a situation when someone fins it impossible to stop loving the One that doesn't love them. It is a sensational imprisonment kind of situation.

When love is not reciprocal, relationship or courtship becomes a burden on one of the partners who tries everything to make it works.

When love is not reciprocal, a partner loves and does not get the same measure of love from the One he/she loves.

Of note is that the expression of love should be mutually equal in all ramification: be it in calls, texts, visits, gifts among many others.

The responsibility attached to love must not be tilted towards one of the participating duo. It shouldn't be a one-sided thing. after all, affairs is for matured minds.

When two people are in love, they can successfully weather life' storm together. But, when it is lop-sided, you fight alone and could lose alone.

It is better to be alone than to be in an affair where you will be lonely.

...Kip da Optimism Alive

HARDENED BY YESTERDAY

(By Joshua Oyero)

"The hurts of the past is the beginning of all revengeful thoughts." -O.J.O

 It was on one of those occasions. One after four consecutive lectures that lasted for two hours each. The Sun had slightly relaxed its scorching eyelid and the calm breeze legitimately associated with the evening was gradually taking over duty.

I was falter. I needed to relax my brain and my right limb: this is because doing this is a matter of imperative as the duo had been multi-tasked in eight fairly interrupted hours of note-taking. It was indeed a busy day!

In a resolve to help my tiresome situation, I immediately thought of a place that would best serve this relaxational purpose that I needed.

Without craning, I sighted a pavilion(originally built to serve the purpose of students' hang-out). It was of quite distant proximity to where I stood. My shoulder was overtly tilted to the left: An effect of the weighty bag of mine (whose flexible handle rested on it).

"That would be a wonderful place to retreat to so as to lax my tensed muscles." I satisfactorily said. And without delay, I swiftly bade 'au reviour' to my noisy friends who also doubled as my course-mates. For I am a Lover of tranquility. This reason coupled with the fact that my helpless bones were crying for a recess before checking out to the hostel made my leaving them necessary.

Later, on a close move to my discovered lair, I spotted the silhouette of two skimpy-dressed Ladies who both assumed a relaxed and temptative posture.

"Hi babes!" I warmly offered a greeting.

"W@'s gud Dude?" They simultaneously retorted in a tone generous with cheers (while asking a rather rhetorical question at the same time).

Having seated and dumped my bag on one of the few seats available in the 'unwalled common room', I tucked my hand into my right pocket to reach for my cyber-enabled phone. And before long, I was on Facebooking (not an obssesion for me, but a tool of escapism).

Then suddenly, a string of words invaded my eardrum. It was the voice of one of the two 'Babes' I had greeted on my entrance to the pavilion.

She adequately laced her voice with contempt and disgust. Below is the content of what she said: "I trust no man, not even Tunde, my so called Fiance. They all are bunch of dishonesty, insincerity and blatant disappointments."

Transfixed and disgusted at the slap on the integrity of the entire male folks, I gave out a deep but fake cough of dissaproval that eventually made them exit the pavilion.

After they had gone, My mind began to ponder and wonder on her words. And before long, I began to soliloquy:

"Why could she have resolved to avenge the evil done to her in a former relationship from the present one?

Why could she have said that she cannot be faithful to any man any more all because her faithfulness in her former relationship(s) were betrayed?"

Then, after some minutes or two of syllogism, I concluded that it is morally wrong for anyone to conclude to seek vengeance of the ills done to him/her in past affairs especially from the present one.

It is on this note that I'd crave the indulgence of you, my patient reader to wrap-up this piece by giving credence to an age-long prudent saying of my people-Yoruba Folks. It goes thus: "If you close your eyes that evil men should pass, you will not know when a good fellow will pass by you."

...Kip da Optimism Alive.

THE ATMOSPHERE IS HARSH 'COS THERE'S NO CASH!

"The hunger of the stomach is the beginning of the manifestation of all acts of anger." -O.J.O

‘Kayode Oyero                      

In my depression, I reflected on the numerous social oppressions and maladies bedeviling my Fatherland. I thought deeply of the many fellows who are victims of desperation. I wept uncontrollably on the tablet of my heart anytime I remember the many future Leaders awaiting gruesome extermination on death-rows.

Look at Potentials falling prey to the wiles of impatience. See countless radiant Innovators falling into the trap of the aged frustration-aggression theory: one that engenders that a frustrated human has every tendency to put on the destructive garment of aggression. Anger caused by social harshness and economic hardness is of immeasurable measure!

Many are the awry sights of potential 'Bill Gates' of Microsoft INC hawking on our roads in traffic congestions under the nudity of the noon Sun. Like a free pendulum swing, they move to-and-fro in violent manner, running after the vehicles of probable patrons. Like a lion they chase after money from such mobile patrons who by the nature of the realities in the land release the fee for the goods purchased only after they already had such wares safely under their custody. Beads of sweats floating on the faces of this helpless 'lords of the traffic' is no doubt a testament of the presence of poverty in the land. The severe lashes of the merciless Sun on their skin do not either in any way help matters.

Now, what else should be talked about? Is it the millions of educated Patriots with no Jobs? Not after scaling through the thorn-like travails of 'Nigerian Public Universities'? Not after the many sleepless nights of preparing for tests and examination. Not after living on a one-zero-one meal formula. Not after experimenting okro as stew on rice. Not after the twelve months sacrificial service to Fatherland in danger-pitched zones of the country. Could they be blame if aftermathly on their survival quest to outbeat the economic unfairness done to them by the greedy men of the polity launch a retaliatory attack, leading to an-eye-for-an-eye kind of situation?

Tell me, who doesn't know that the hunger of the stomach is the beginning of all displayed and undisclosed anger? Like a raging Lion who yearn for a prey to devour, they desperately ply short-cuts turning assasins, robbers, fraudsters, sex-workers among other unethical acts. While unfortunately for the unlucky ones, they have their lives cut short by inherrent gun shots of short-cuts.

However, in my objective observation, I saw frustration in a new light. I realize it’s got powerful grip on unsuspecting victims. I discovered it’s got a clamp that seems un-evasive for the unwary. But, be it as it may, who to blame for these social maladies seems a question to be asked on yet another day.

...Kip da Optimism Alive!