‘Kayode Oyero
“Here’s a new year. Be clear.
Don’t just stare at it; steer your gear with meticulous care to avoid rickety
wear and tear. Put the chart before the cart. Aimlessness is silliness. People
who fail to prepare do have course to repair. A life devoid of strategy plunges
easily into the pit of tragedy. This year must be better, not bitter! ” –O.J.O
Grin… grin….
“Hello Uncle Imodoye!
Merry belated Christmas and a prosperous new Year Sir!”
“Ah! Saka! I
caught you this time! You think I wouldn’t decipher it is you. Abi? Even if my
blurry defective sight makes it impossible to see the identity of the caller on
my phone’ screen, my gift of recognizing the voices of familiar people no
matter how much they feign disguise would forever remain intact.
*Laughs* “Uncle Imodoye! You and
your comics! The Discerner of faceless voices indeed!”
“Saka, Iwo lomo –
only you understand what you’re driving at, anyways, A ku odun. Emi a se pupo E
laye ninu oro, owo, alaafia ati aiku bale oro- happy New Year to you too. May
we live to celebrate and commemorate more of this day in functional and stable
health, jaw-dropping wealth and tranquil peace.
“Ase – Amen. Oju
wa to ri eyi yoo ri omiran – We’ll surely set our eyes on yet another by God’s
grace.”
“Amin –Amen. Saka
how’s the festive climate in the city?”
“Uncle Imodoye,
nothing away from the traditional pomp and pageantry, the cultural bustling and
buzzing: the deafening din from the speakers of commercial disc sellers; tuneless
and endless shrill fuss of generating sets and the nuisance of alarming fireworks!”
“Such phenomenon
can’t be dissociated from city life festivity, not in a busty cosmopolitan city
in the salt of Lagos.”
*Intercepts* “Ehen, Uncle lest I
forget, have you heard the latest news about the proposed 2014 federal budget?”
“No, Saka.
Anything unusual from the usual explosively outrageous loot and gluttonous cut
of the national cake, under the guise of government funding?”
“Yes Uncle. There
is more unusual to the usual.”
“Gbe simi leti
Saka- Let the cat out of the bag, Saka. I have not been abreast of topical
national occurrences for a while.”
“Okay Uncle, I
will. But what’s responsible for your outdatedness? It’s pretty unlikely of you
to…”
“The cell of my transistor
radio got dampened some few days before Christmas and Kamilu is yet to get me
another. And you know my Nokia 3310 doesn’t have an inbuilt radio. I’m in darkness
Saka. Kamilu is such a compassionless and irresponsible caretaker. He
disregards the aged, forgetting that the withering of the dry leaf is a warning
to fresh ones.”
“Ahn-ahn! Darkness
in broad daylight?!”
“Yes. Anybody out
of socio-political cum economical consciousness is in darkness. A person out of
the reach of information and news aptly domicile in the cave of life, the dungeon
of unawareness where subterranean darkness rules both the night and the day.
That aside, what did you mean by the unusual to the usual in the proposed Nigerian
budget for this year?”
“Uncle, it is the
allocation of N125, 629, 606 for the purchase, feeding, clothing and
accommodation of Alsatian dogs for the police force. Uncle, you can imagine
setting aside one hundred and twenty-five million, six-hundred and twenty-nine
thousand and six hundred and six Naira for the recruitment of bonny-snouted
bingos into the force? All for the civil maintenance of internal laws and
orders? Are they heavy-duty machine guns?”
“That’s
outrageously calamitous! It’s indeed surreal. Why spend so much on the Falcon
when little is spent on the Falconer. Or is it not a well-fed stomach that can
carry-out effective clandestine surveillance and intelligent gathering and
consequently deploy their over-cost purported knight in shining armour to
tackle miscreants and mischief-makers?”
“Abi o!- I second
you.”
“Saka, was it not
last week that I saw a flat-bellied emaciating policeman walked slowly,
cautiously and consciously. At first, I was confounded as to why he was
lethargic not until a clinical perusal of his feet did I discovered his racked weather-beaten
sole-apart boot was the cause of his draggy stride? Seriously, the development
is indeed a grand unusual style to the usual manner of theft and malfeasance. Feeding
dog with incredible millions while humans are left unfed? It’s pathetic!”
“Ah! Uncle
Imodoye! That’s not all o! Do you also know that the presidency also presented
N34.5 million, an equivalent of S230,000. Just for the procurement and welfare
of two imperceptible animals for the villa zoo?”
“Mysteries and
miseries are happening! Saka! You truly and really mean what you’re saying
about this 2014 budget?”
“Yes Uncle. All
the facts are contained in the dailies and other news media.”
“Saka, not that I
distrust you, but I’m wondering why a substantial percentile of the budget will
be allocated to the acquisition of two terrestrial or aquatic animal when human-relevant
and beneficial sectors lay fallow. It’s pitiable, the dearth of altruistic leaders.”
“Very lamentable Sir!”
“I see! Politics and
politricks! But that as it may, Saka, have you also budget your targets for
this freshly delivered year?”
“I don’t
understand you Uncle. Budget a target? Budgeting is the business of the
government and not mine, a common citizen.”
“Saka, you’re
rightly incorrect! Budgeting is not an exclusive of the government, be it at
federal or state or grass root level but also goal-oriented people. It’s pertinent
for any focus-driven individual to outline his or her agenda, goals to aim at,
objective to pursue and ambition to chase come the start of every year. Isn’t
what the Christian scripture in Habakkuk chapter two verses two meant when it
enjoined: ‘Write down the vision, and make it plain upon tablet, that he may
run that readeth it’?”
“Oh! So true
Uncle. I haven’t seen it in such light.”
“You see, Saka, a
budget is incontrovertible a sturdy gadget to hit a target. Hard work hardly
works when a goal is lacking. In other words, hard work devoid of well-articulated
strategy results to wasted energy.”
“Waoh! But Uncle,
what is budget sef in practical term?”
“Good. Budget in practice
is an agenda enlisting a set of objectives to be actualized within a time frame;
an identified process to ensure its accomplishment; strategies to get it
achieved and possible ways to surmount probable inevitable hurdles that may
pose as challenging threat to the realization of the spelt objective. To
summarily put, the concept of budgeting is tantamount to ‘counting the cost’. All
in all, it is to ensure fulfillment of future goals within a specified period
of time. You know dreams are seedlings of reality and goals, dreams with a deadline.”
“Fantastic detail!
But Sir, what are goals and why is it even necessary to set goals?”
“Saka, a goal is a compass to surpass a future
shrouded with uncertainties. It is a portfolio of desire and expectation.
It can also be said to be a target which can be hit by a gadget called budget. Outlining
goals is all about calculative and strategic planning as to how to birth your
objectives into reality.
“Hmmn!”
“You see, essential
is the necessity that goals must be clearly stated and pursued with the
simplest approach, because simple advance can sometimes prove to be most
effective. You see, Aburo, don’t aim too low and too grandiose while setting a
list of goals, but rather find something that is possible, so achievable, so
pure, so satiating, so simple, so idealistic, so realistic and so basic to life
and then slingshot at it. Having a goal makes for coordinated effort because
you have sagaciously calculated the end from the beginning. You see, definite
goals foster definitive accomplishment(s)!
“Uncle, I think
your inference is that every gender must have an agenda this year.”
“Ori E pe - correct!
That’s exactly what I’m saying. A gender with an agenda sets personal objectives
and ensures that his or her extant and potential actions are in consistent with
such planned goals. They are thoughtfully reflective and are Gurus at self-analysis.
They ruminate on:
‘How can I steer
clear from the recurrence of commotions, emotional turbulence and career
demotions that bedeviled me last year?’
‘What can I do
positively differently?’
‘How can I forge
resistance, in the year here, to the limitations that inhibited me from the
accomplishment of certain set goals the erstwhile year?’”
“Uncle Imodoye, I
think they are Soul-searchers.”
“Yes. They are. Saka!
Saka! Saka! How many times did I call you?”
“E meta sa- thrice
Sir!”
“It’s time you
switch from merriment to attainment. Better late than never; it’s not yet late
to write out your shopping list for this year in all areas of your life: a new
year resolution. A budget is a sure-fire gadget to knock down a self-projected target!
Bye bye! Greet Risikatu and the children for me.”
#####
I’m @Imodoye_1 on Twitter
…Kip da Optimism Alive!
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